Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Part one

Well, only one question so far and here it is,

Melissa asked... How did you two meet and end up as a couple.

This question also includes my coming out story... So here it is

It was my junior year of college (August) and I had just started nursing school. The nursing school I went to was a completely different school from where I did my first two years of pre-requisites, so I knew no one. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years was living 3 hours away at the time as he was two years older and had gotten a big boy job. We maintained a ok long distance relationship and did a lot of driving back and forth. About a month of nursing school had passed and I had still made no friends! We had to pair up one day in class and I by default got paired up with the only other girl in class who didn't have a partner. Her name was Kara. She was quiet and mostly kept to herself but we got along great and become best buds. We sat in class together, studied together, made sure we got the same clinicals together and started hanging out outside of class. She often/always talked about her "roommate" Angie, who was already a nurse. We ended up having clinicals at the hospital and on the same floor the Angie worked on. It was only then I put two and two together and realized ooooo duh... they aren't roommates...they are girlfriends. I confronted Kara about it, and she confirmed, saying she didn't want to tell me because she thought I might be prejudice to their relationship. I remember thinking who cares. I grew up knowing about gays/lesbians, and thought it wasn't my thing but never cared or judged the people that were. After Kara knew I was ok with everything our outings outside of school started to include Angie as well. When I first met Angie I knew she didn't care for me. She didn't really talk much, wasn't friendly, and seemed like a bitch. I was indifferent to her. I wanted to get along with her b/c she was Kara's girlfriend.
I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but my feelings for Kara started to change. I found myself attracted to her and thinking constantly of ways to get closer to her, touch her and hang out more with her. Those thoughts then progressed to me thinking I wanted to kiss her. We were sitting in my driveway one night after studying and I bursted out to her that I wanted to kiss her. She agreed to it and that night I had my first girl kiss. I had kissed girls in highschool and college, but it was all druken nights and only happened to get attention from other people. This was very different from those nights. The three of us were hanging out almost 3-4 times a week and it was usually at a bar getting plastered. I started to find myself attracted to Angie as well and a sexual relationship began with her. Now looking back I get how unhealthy it all was and I often felt like a home wrecker. They always made it known they were both ok with me being involved with both of them. I told the girls I wasn't gay and this kissing between the both of them was just a drunk thing. So maybe that's why we went and drank all the time? If Kara was working I would go out with Angie and if Angie was working I would hang out with Kara.
I felt very ashamed of myself. One, I was cheating on my boyfriend, two, I was doing a bad thing with girls. My close friends knew about them and that we were often together, but I always denied having anything romantic going on with them. I fought with my inner self 24/7. I cried, was confused but mostly didn't want to have anything to do with them.
It was now March/April. I continued to stay friends with Kara at school but backed away from the situation 100% . I didn't hang out much with them anymore and things seemed better. I felt better about not having to lie to anyone anymore.

Ok, that can be Part one... because this is getting long, but the back story is just as important!

Stay tuned for part two! And please ask more questions!!

6 comments:

  1. Oh girl! Lol between your story and mine we should have a Lifetime TV movie. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, quite a story! I can't wait for part 2. Sorry I'm behind in the question-posing. I've been a bit slow with my blog commenting. Here's one for you that I think someone asked me (but now that I'm thinking about it I'm not sure if I ever answered): if you could have picked a different path for yourself, what would it have been? What you do, where you live, all that good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh maaaaan it was just getting good ;) Your story is just as juicy as mine, haha. Can't wait for part 2!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I would like to know how you chose who was going to have the first baby, and subsequent children?

    ReplyDelete
  5. enjoyed reading your part 1 story! waiting for the next part :) a couple questions....What is your favorite things to do in Kansas? What are you most looking forward to? when did you decide to leave and move away?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Part two… Part two. I Can’t wait. Still thinking up some good questions.

    ReplyDelete