Thursday, December 23, 2010

11 weeks

Really.... already?! One more week and I am done with my first trimester! It seems so crazy and surreal. I haven't been feeling so hot this last week at all. Baby must be growing and moving!

We had our first appt with our OBGN Dr. F ! I do really like him and that was again confirmed getting to speak with him at our first appt.

Things that were different from Fertility doc..
I had to pee in a cup, they had to draw blood, they did a pap (ouch) and felt my bbs!

Oh and we have a REAL ultrasound! I thought since it was still pretty early they would use the dildo cam...but nope! It was nice not having to get undressed and less painful/uncomfortable.

Everything looks good and the baby is measuring right on track. They sent us home with some pictures but they are crappy compared to the last ones. I can barley make out anything.

That's the latest and greatest. I work the next three nights....what a Merry Christmas!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas Party

We have a X-mas party every year at our house! Last year the theme was Ugly sweaters and this year it was silver, gold, and white Christmas! It was so different this year not drinking! All I could think about was cleaning up the whole time and how loud it was! Here are some pics from the occasion

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Christmas blues

This year I just can't seem to snap into the holly jolly yipee for Christmas gal that I usually am each year. We have been beyond busy... leaving no time for shopping or decorating for that matter. We have the tree up and garland around the banister, but we did that all before we went home to Kansas.

Then we were in Kansas for two weeks, came home work three 12hour shifts in a row, welcomed my friend Lindsey into town, had a Christmas party(which I need to post a few pics from), said goodbye to Lindsey, and now back to work!!

I think being so busy has just kept my mind off everything. I literally have not one thing for Ang and according to her she hasn't gotten me one thing either! You wanna know the sad part... I'm completely ok with that. We had a great Christmas last year and next year will have BABY, so why not skip this one?!

PLUS we both have to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day... :( AND we live in Arizona... so It just doesn't feel like Christmas or winter.

Wow, I feel like I am totally rambling. So all my family is getting for Christmas is gift cards stuck in a X-mas card! I feel bad, but at the same time I'm like screw it! They are still getting something!

So there ya have it. I have the Christmas blues, but am very much ok with it. Already looking forward to how special it will be next year!

Thursday, December 16, 2010


Todays ultrasound was the BEST by far!!

#1- The hematomas are both gone!! Which is super good and makes me really happy b/c I get to FINALLY stop with the Progesterone suppositories!! That in itself makes it a great day

#2- We got to see our precious lil babe! When he got the probe all in place it was crazy to see how much it had changed. I had the biggest smile on my face. Then my smile turned to tears b/c the baby started moving and flipping and waving its arms and legs! I couldn't believe it. There is a little human in me, moving around!! I can only imagine how every ultrasound will get better and better.

The doc said everything looked great and right on track! Todays visit was a little bittersweet however. We finally graduated to the real OBGYN and had to say goodbye to all the familiar faces and ppl we have grown to love and trust.
The pics are from my phone again and not that great quality

This first pic is of baby all curled up in a ball and nice and snug

And this pic you can see its beautiful head, eye sockets, and 2 arms and 2 legs!!! HEAVEN

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


So Thursday we get to see baby again!! I feel like we are so lucky that we have gone so frequently. The only reason we get to go back again to our fertility doc is b.c he wants to check on my subchorionic hematomas to make sure they haven't grown any larger! THEN next week is our first appt with the REAL OB! I'm nervous to go see them b.c we have grown so close to all the staff and our doctor at the fertility clinic. I like my OBGYN though. Plus he is gay and I like that aspect of it to. We clicked when I had to go for my annual girl stuff so I think it will all go well.

Will leave you with a picture of one of our sweet Christmas Kitties

Monday, December 13, 2010

9 weeks

Well I guess technically I will be 10 weeks on Thursday! But thought I would jot down how I have been feeling these last few weeks

* Not feeling as EXHAUSTED as I did in weeks 6 and 7.

* Still would prefer to take a nap though!

* Have acne worse than I did in highschool.... old wives tales say this means its a girl?! To make it worse its the deep down under the skin ones that hurt SO bad!

* No morning sickness! This whole time so far I have had to take zofran twice but never have thrown up.

* Still having a hard time wanting to eat anything. Just nothing at all sounds good.

* A little bit on the moody side. Ang would say a lot on the moody side!

* Off and on twinges or tiny cramps in my uterus.

* No baby bump yet.... lots of bloating and tummy fat though!

Think thats all for now! Wanted to give a shout out to the girls over @ CONGRATS!!!!! These two are newly preggo!!!!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


When I was back home I had the chance to catch up with an old friend from highschool. We grabbed coffee and I got to meet her beautiful 17day old baby girl!!

It was some good practice getting to hold such a tiny baby!!

Thursday, December 2, 2010


This photo is crappy b/c I took a picture of the ultrasound with my phone.. but nonetheless here is our little monkey!

8 weeks

We had our 8 week ultrasound today and it was totally surreal. We got to see the heartbeat!! Our little monkey had a strong 161 beats per minute heart rate! I got all teary, it was so awesome! Baby looks like a gummi bear! Little head, little heart, and 4 little nubs... soon to be arms and legs.

I had few "sacs" of blood/fluid on either side of the of the baby but not in the baby's sac. He didn't seem to worried but wanted us to come back in two weeks to make sure the they hadn't grown any bigger. We had no problem coming back... we get to see the baby again!

The next 6 of 7 days are going to suck because I have to work. I guess when you take two weeks of vacation you have to make up for it.

Oh... and if you haven't left me your email address please do so! Will be going private here in the next few days.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! We never can get everyone together for a family picture and this year grandma insisted on getting one! So here is my awesome gorgeous family!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Still vacationing

Well I'm still in Kansas and still on vacation. I was thinking to myself.... why aren't I blogging more...because I'm am literally not doing anything! I haven't being doing anything b/c I feel so unmotivated and tired!

Tomorrow will be the big 7 weeks! I thought I would share how I have been feeling

* no more spotting! who hooo! Just happened that one day, and none since
* tired. Wake up from sleeping all night and want to take a nap tired. This goes along with the not motivated to go anywhere or do anything.
* light to mild crampings
* I feel a little on edge mood wise, almost like I'm having PMS. Little things are getting to me and driving me crazy.
* No morning sickness or nausea! I am feeling like nothing tastes good to me. Something will sound so good and I will make it or go get it and then when I am ready to eat it, its not what I want. Although as I'm sitting here typing I am eating a few crab ragoons that are to die for!

Hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!!

Saturday, November 20, 2010


So this morning after I did my progesterone supp I noticed maybe an hour later with the discharge that came out that I had a small amt of brown spotting. I'm a little freaked out b/c I haven't had any spotting of any kind this whole time so far. Any reassurance? Is this normal? Have any of you girls experienced this? I did google it and read that quite a few ppl have experienced this, but just wanted to see what you guys thought....

Thursday, November 18, 2010


So you guys are getting the scoop a week earlier than planned! Here is the deal. I wanted to post about this a lot further back BUT my baby sister who is completely awesome reads my blog and I didn't want here to see the post. Now that I am in Kansas and have seen my sis I can tell you..

So remember almost 6 weeks back when I posted how we had to skip our cycle b/c of only one follicle. Well I kept having second thoughts after that appt and Ang and I decided that we didn't care if we only had one chance, and that we wanted to try after all.

And so glad we did b/c.... I'M PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are 6 weeks today and had an ultrasound two days ago to make sure everything was in the right spot! No heartbeat yet, but MD said 5w5d is usually a little early to see one. We will have another ultrasound when we get back which will be @ 8 weeks!

I have been dying to tell you guys and surprised I didn't break down and post something anyway!

So that is the big news.... we are still processing things but very excited!

Friday, November 12, 2010

3 Years

It's our three year anniversary this Sunday! We are celebrating tonight @ our most favorite restaurant in the entire world... THE MELTING POT! It's kind of tradition and we go there for every anniversary...and sometimes for birthdays too!

We also don't get the dinners there at all. We get cheese fondue and chocolate fondue. This year will be a bit different... but I will cover that in another about two weeks.

Full tummy and complete satisfaction...HERE I COME!

Monday, November 8, 2010

One of those people

So I usually categorize people who get out their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving as one of those people.

Well folks, this year I am one of those people! Today we brought out the Christmas tree, decorations, and lights! Oh, and I listened to Christmas music while doing it. We usually don't put our things out until right after Thanksgiving or even the first couple weeks of December, but this year with traveling back to Kansas for two weeks we figured we could get a jump start on things.

Another reason is, we have a annual X-mas party every year and didn't want to be stressed out getting back from Kansas and trying to get everything prepared for the party.

Behold... the awesome tree!

Friday, November 5, 2010


I haven't posted in almost a week!! I feel so lazy. BUT I have been off work for almost a week and most of my good blogging comes to me while I'm at work.
My poor patients.
So back to work it is for two days! (Gotta love my schedule.. only three 12 hour shifts a week)

So I was looking back at a few more questions that I was going to answer.

Loralou asked how did you decide who would carry the baby first. That question was the easiest for us to answer out of the whole TTC process so far. Ang has never wanted to pregnant and have a baby, and I have always longed to be pregnant and carry a baby! Short and sweet! Ang did say that if for some reason I was unable to have babies that she would hop right into that role. Ang also has hypertension and is getting older... now I know she isn't old but older for TTC. She is a young beautiful 37 :)

Finch and Wren asked what our favorite thing about Kansas is and what are we looking most forward to when we go back and why did we leave.
We left Kansas do pursue travel nursing. Ang has traveled in the past to Hawaii and AZ and loved it, so we decided why not go again.. we weren't missing out on anything in KS. So our first contract was here in AZ, and our next contract was here in AZ, then we decided we liked it so much that we would move here. We made some really close friends and felt so welcome. What I'm most looking forward to is getting to see all our families and friends. I miss them all so much! We have Skype which makes the time in between visits seem shorter. I'm also looking forward to the cold... which I know when I get there I will be thinking screw this! I miss the fall and winter and am looking forward to wearing big hooded sweatshirts and snuggling on the couch under a warm blanket.

We go home in less than two weeks!! I'm so excited! I'm ready to do a lot of nothing and not worry about anything.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Part dos

Warning... part two is a little fucked up.. read on if you must

Ok I left off on how I didn't really talk much or associate with the two of them anymore. Well it was 21st birthday celebration and the decided to meet some friends of mine and I out for a few drinks. They only stayed for one or two and left because they got in some sort of argument.
Fast forward to the next morning at like 6am. (I'm a little..ok a lot hungover) I get a call from Angie... which is unusual because she never calls me. She told me she needed me to come pick her up and take her to the hospital. I was very confused and asked why. She said she took too many pills and needed me to come get her. This didn't make too much sense at the time but I got in the car and went to get her. The drive was about 20 minutes, so on the way I call her again, maybe a little pissed off because I felt like I wasn't getting the whole truth. I ask her, why can't Kara take you, what is really going on, are you ok etc.. She then tells me something I never expected. She say's Darc, it's not me, it's Kara, she tried to commit suicide, the ambulance won't let me ride with her because I'm not family.....
Cue me get so sick to my stomach. I was dry heaving and thought I was going to have to pull over. I was shaking and freaking out. I pull up to their house and there are 3 cop cars in the driveway and poor Ang sitting on the front porch waiting for me.
I won't go into details on how Kara committed suicide, but she went to heaven the following day.
I later find out from Ang that Kara had been abused by an uncle when she was 9 and had attempted suicide once before. It was something that she just couldn't deal with.

I know that part sucked to tell but part of our journey together. Since that day I never left Ang alone, I was with her all the time, I grieved with her, I got shitfaced with her, I was a dear friend to her. I never had a friendship with Angie and over the next months we grew extremely close. It felt right and wrong all at the same time. I was happy when I was with her and embarrassed about what I was doing when I wasn't. This went on for a full year. I would now call it dating but back then didn't want to admit to anything of the sort. No one knew about what was going on between us. I just knew that I wasn't gay and that this was a fling or something experimental.
Angie never pushed for anything more but I knew secretly she wanted a relationship.

I think when it all clicked for me was 1 1/2 after Kara had passed (a 1 1/2 of dating) in Sept, and Ang and I were laying in bed talking. She told me she was going to do a travel contract in California because nothing here was holding her back and she was ready to get out of Kansas. It clicked for me because at that moment I realized, I didn't want her to go, she couldn't go, what would I do without her, I love her! I convinced her to stay but didn't fully commit to the relationship until November 14th. Ang loves this next part because this is how I came out to my mom... We were @ Khols shopping and in the check out line. She says something about are you dating anyone right now? I just blurted out, Yes, Angie. I think my mom cried and what not, but I told my mom we were dating and together before I told ang! I called Ang so proud that I came out to my mom and told her we were dating and she was like ...we are? Haha. The rest is history. It has all come so naturally and so easily and I'm happier than I ever have been! We made it official this past January in Whistler, Canada!

So that's our crazy story... I'm glad I could share with you guys!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Part one

Well, only one question so far and here it is,

Melissa asked... How did you two meet and end up as a couple.

This question also includes my coming out story... So here it is

It was my junior year of college (August) and I had just started nursing school. The nursing school I went to was a completely different school from where I did my first two years of pre-requisites, so I knew no one. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years was living 3 hours away at the time as he was two years older and had gotten a big boy job. We maintained a ok long distance relationship and did a lot of driving back and forth. About a month of nursing school had passed and I had still made no friends! We had to pair up one day in class and I by default got paired up with the only other girl in class who didn't have a partner. Her name was Kara. She was quiet and mostly kept to herself but we got along great and become best buds. We sat in class together, studied together, made sure we got the same clinicals together and started hanging out outside of class. She often/always talked about her "roommate" Angie, who was already a nurse. We ended up having clinicals at the hospital and on the same floor the Angie worked on. It was only then I put two and two together and realized ooooo duh... they aren't roommates...they are girlfriends. I confronted Kara about it, and she confirmed, saying she didn't want to tell me because she thought I might be prejudice to their relationship. I remember thinking who cares. I grew up knowing about gays/lesbians, and thought it wasn't my thing but never cared or judged the people that were. After Kara knew I was ok with everything our outings outside of school started to include Angie as well. When I first met Angie I knew she didn't care for me. She didn't really talk much, wasn't friendly, and seemed like a bitch. I was indifferent to her. I wanted to get along with her b/c she was Kara's girlfriend.
I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but my feelings for Kara started to change. I found myself attracted to her and thinking constantly of ways to get closer to her, touch her and hang out more with her. Those thoughts then progressed to me thinking I wanted to kiss her. We were sitting in my driveway one night after studying and I bursted out to her that I wanted to kiss her. She agreed to it and that night I had my first girl kiss. I had kissed girls in highschool and college, but it was all druken nights and only happened to get attention from other people. This was very different from those nights. The three of us were hanging out almost 3-4 times a week and it was usually at a bar getting plastered. I started to find myself attracted to Angie as well and a sexual relationship began with her. Now looking back I get how unhealthy it all was and I often felt like a home wrecker. They always made it known they were both ok with me being involved with both of them. I told the girls I wasn't gay and this kissing between the both of them was just a drunk thing. So maybe that's why we went and drank all the time? If Kara was working I would go out with Angie and if Angie was working I would hang out with Kara.
I felt very ashamed of myself. One, I was cheating on my boyfriend, two, I was doing a bad thing with girls. My close friends knew about them and that we were often together, but I always denied having anything romantic going on with them. I fought with my inner self 24/7. I cried, was confused but mostly didn't want to have anything to do with them.
It was now March/April. I continued to stay friends with Kara at school but backed away from the situation 100% . I didn't hang out much with them anymore and things seemed better. I felt better about not having to lie to anyone anymore.

Ok, that can be Part one... because this is getting long, but the back story is just as important!

Stay tuned for part two! And please ask more questions!!

Saturday, October 23, 2010


Well since nothing new to report with TCC, you all have probably seen I have been my updating the blog look! What do you think of the new look?!

Also, I guess I'm jumping on the bandwagon and reaching out to you guys to keep me occupied! So I am ready for some questions! Ask anything about myself or Ang... ANYTHING!

We have a Halloween costume party to go tonight that should be interesting. I'm going as Snow White and Ang is a pirate. I will try to post some pictures!

In less than a month we are going home to Kansas for a whole two weeks! I'm so excited to see my family and old friends. It will be nice to just relax, not work, and catch up with everyone.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Well we went in this morning for our ultrasound to see how my little follies were doing. And little follies they were...

I guess I almost expected this, which is why I'm completely ok with the decision we made. My lining was great @ 12mm, however only ONE follicle again measuring at 19mm.

We collectively made the decision to cancel this cycle and try for next month only because

1) The doner we really like only had 4 iui vials left ( we purchased them all) and they aren't sure when he would donate more. Therefore we have already used one and want to make our other three tries really count
2) I'm still not responding AT ALL to the clomid. We know it only takes one to get pregnant, but would like to give ourselves better odds taking in account our finical issues and limited sperm

SO.. next cycle we will go to combo drugs. 50mg of Clomid and injectables. I'm not sure yet which injectables we will be using yet, but feeling hopeful that my body will respond to them!

I'm feeling a little bummed but also very ok with what we have decided.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Cool as a cucumber

As the insemination and dreaded two week wait get closer, it has made me think more about this cycle.

As much as I felt like I wasn't stressing and over analyzing things this last cycle... I knew I was.

This cycle I'm taking a new approach and am feeling already good about it! I'm just not going to worry/think about things. I haven't let myself have caffeine or alcohol the past two cycles and have decided that hell, if I want a cup of coffee or a few beers after work, I am going to have them!

I think by depriving myself of certain things during my wait, did in a round about way make me constantly think about the TTC process!

So cool as a cucumber will be my new slogan this time around! I go in for my scan in two days and am feeling positive.

We need some positive things to happen for us bloggers! Pom is the only one with luck around here! Congrats again by the way!

Today I will enjoy being lazy on the couch and watching Sunday football! Go Chiefs!

Friday, October 15, 2010


Welp I made it back safely from my trip to Minnesota. We were busy girls and had a lot of fun together, catching up and what not.

We got to go to an apple orchard they had there and have fresh apple cider, apple donuts and slices of apples with hot Carmel all of the the top... YUMMY!

My friend Lindsey also had the pleasure of being around me when I took my clomid this time around. I felt different this time than last. I didn't cry like a baby or feel sensitive. I did have bad hot flashes and feel sleepy! Ang said she thought I was a little on edge but couldn't tell for sure.

Being away from home, Angie, and kitties always make me realize how happy I am, and how lucky I am to have what I have! It was such a good visit but I'm happy to be home!

The pic below is of my BEAUTIFUL backyard! Our lemons and limes are growing like crazy!

On the TTC end... we have a ultrasound on Tuesday to see if my follicles are growing. I pray there is more than one this time! Insemination is tentatively for Thursday!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

As I thought

Guess who showed up right as I was taking my offical TWW preggo test... If you gussed AF then you are right.

We are bummed... I didn't cry and feel like the 2nd BFN wasn't as bad as the first BFN.

I can't imagine you girls who have gotten one BFN after another for years. This shit is hard.

Well on the bright side I'm going to Minnesota this weekend to visit my BFF Lindsey! I'm def going to have a few beers and relax!

Called my MD and the plan is to not start injectable yet but to increase Clomid to 100mg/day.... ( Even though my body didn't respond AT ALL to the 50, I hope it was just that it was too low of a dose for me and not that my body isn't responsive to it)

Thank you guys for all you sweet comments and wishes! You all rock

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Wait wait wait

Well I have been a good girl and haven't tested again. It's been so hard and is constantly on my mind.

I am suppose to start my period today/tomorrow. Not quite sure b/c my this last time was 29 days as opposed to my normal cycle which is 28 days.

I'm having major cramps and feel like af will be here any second. I'm running to the bathroom every couple hours b/c I feel like af arrived but nope, just thin clear cm. (and lots of it).

Still haven't had any kind of spotting or any other real symptoms. My bbs are bigger but not sore and I once again am thinking its secondary to the progesterone.

I decided if I don't get my period tomorrow I will do a test... or should I just wait until Thursday which would be the official end of my TWW?!?!

I'm happy I work the next three days b/c it will help keep my mind off things.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Broke down...

I know I shouldn't of, and told myself I wouldn't BUT I tested this morning. 10dpo and got a BFN.

I don't feel like it's over yet but am a little disapointed. I'm not feeling anything different or abnormal. I'm suppose to start my period on Tuesday, so I guess we will see.

Thursday with be the offical end to the TWW. I'm feeling like this cylce is already done for

Thursday, September 30, 2010

One Week

Welp it's been one week since our IUI. Could these days go by any slower?? I am actually surprising myself with how patient and laid back I have been. Do I want to test... yes. Will I.. Heck no! I've had some weird off and on symptoms

1dp0- mild cramping on left side
2dp0- More sleepy @ work than usual ( could be b/c I didn't get much sleep before I went in)
5dp0- cramps almost all day... felt like AF cramps, and I had the poops! (TMI) :)
6dp0- mild cramps again, not like the day before and then felt normal the rest of the day, until dinner time when I had a normal size meal and felt so bloated and full after.

I guess from everywhere I read there are a lot of ppl that have implantation bleeding, but If I had those bad cramps on day 5 and would think that would be implantation, but two days later and no bleeding or spotting.

Have any of you NOT had any spotting and end up with a BFP?

We are going to keep trucking along!

Saturday, September 25, 2010


I have found from last time and now this time that Google is my enemy! I need to stay away from it but I can't!

So I got to thinking about my ONE follicle I had that measured 27mm and started googling about that. It got me upset b/c everything I read said that 27mm was too big and would never produce a viable pregnancy, that it was too ripe. I literally looked at sooo many pages and they all said about the same thing.

I'm going to keep my promise to myself and not test until my two week time which will save my mind from going crazy some, but the Internet is right at my fingertips!

I also told myself with every negative thing I was thinking I would try to make a positive... so here is the positive

Call it fate or a weird coincidence but the night of my IUI on my way to work was a Full beautiful moon, in my view the whole drive to work. Ang is in the float pool @ her hospital and so she texted me the unit number she was on...she must of miss typed some of the numbers b/c when I called the number it was the lactation line to the hospital! THEN.. Ang had a sweet Arabic lady and without Ang saying anything to her the lady asked her if she was trying to have a baby, and Ang said Yes. The lady said I will pray for you and every time Ang went into her room she would tell her she is still praying for a baby!

We both thought those things were all a little weird! Who knows. Today is day three of the 14 day wait!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Deed

The deed has been done. This morning @ 0930 a.m. I was shot up with spermies!

This was my first IUI experience since last time it was IVF. I have to say, things were different than I thought they would be.

I guess I thought my MD would be doing it, and that was surprise one because it was the nurse practitioner. I love her... she is very sweet and very knowledgeable, but she is NOT gentle at all. You would think the female would be more sensitive, careful and caring but my MD is way more all those things! When she put the speculum in, she didn't use any kind of lube... OUCH! It prob wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't taken the Clomid, but the clomid dries me up a bit. Then when she put in the catheter and blew up the ballon on the end she did it so fast my abdomen hurt so bad! The rest of the time went by ok. Her and Ang mostly talked the whole time and I layed there and tried to relax as much as possible and not think about things.

On a good note.... Our swimmers motility were 37.5 million! Holy crap! I guess that is very much above the average so I'm happy about.

The NP was also very surprised that my ovaries didn't respond well to the Clomid. She suspected since I'm in my mid 20s , in good health, no fertility problems, that I would have produced atleast 3-6 follices. Hmm. So if this time doesn't work she said next round they would probably move on to clomid plus injectables.

So now starts the ever so long 2 week wait. Here we go

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Staying positive

Well trying atleast.

So today @ the MD I had a follice scan and it showed ONE...only ONE follice that measured 27mm with really good uterus lining.

I thought for sure since I took the Clomid that I would have more than one.

But like everyone says... It only takes one! So I'm feeling good and positive on that note.

I triggered tonight with HCG and go in Thursday morning for the IUI.

I have accupuncture in the A.m. and hope that will take my mind off things!

We need good thoughts our way... I'm already dreading the TWW

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Last night we went and saw Paramore at a smaller venue dowtown! Guess who opened for them... Tegan and Sara!!

Let me tell you... the lesbians came out of the woodwork last night in Phoenix. Ang and I were thinking we haven't seen this many gay ppl in this town ever! It was nice to know we aren't the only ones who exist!

Tegan and Sara were awesome. They were quirky cute and rocked out. I have never seen them before but Ang saw them like 10 years ago in Canada at some small bar. Would like to see them again when we could hear them play all night!

Paramore surprised me as well! Very good performance... !

Note: no more crying or weird side effects from the Clomid any more. Hoping they made some big follies for us!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I lied...

Ok I totally take back that my only side effect from the Clomid as been hot flashes! And also I didn't have to take 4 days... 5days. So today is day 5. Thank God

I cannot stop crying. I'm so sick of it.. I get goin and cry so hard my head starts to pound! Yesterday watching Oprah... tears
Movie I have seen 10 times and never cried about... tears

To top it off last night at work I had a patient go down hill quick and this morning he made the desicion that he was done.. I don't usually get emotional at work but I couldn't help myself and cried infront of the patient, his daughter, another nurse and a doctor.

I can't think of what else would make me so emotional but the Clomid! I'm a freakin baby

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Clomid and Birthday

So today was day 3 of 4 on the clomid. I have to say it hasn't made me bitchy or emotional! Horrah!
I have been having hot flashes... bad! I can only think it is due from the Clomid b/c that's the only new thing I have been taking. These past two nights I wake up so hot and then get so cold. It has being happening on and off all day today too.. blah!

Labor day was my hunnys big 37th Birthday! We went for Sushi at her favorite place, then Cheesecake factory for dessert and vino and ended up a local bar called moon bar! It was a very good evening! Love ya baby!!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Random thoughts

Going through this whole process I have stayed so optimistic and had such a great outlook on things. Especially since we did IVF first and I know that it usually last resort for many couples.

With the IVF not working for whatever reason with Angie's eggs, I feel like how is IUI going to happen with me?

I am optimistic in it working though and am very excited. I feel guilty though because I'm already planning where I will be and what I will be doing for next month when I would inseminate again. Is that horrible that I am already thinking this first one won't work, or just realistic in making sure if it doesn't I'm prepared for the next one?

You all probably think I'm crazy blogging at this time in the morning BUT ... I'm a ICU nurse and work nights... best blogging comes around this time!

So this morning after work I go to the MD office for day three lab work ( hormone levels and what not ) and a va ja ja ultrasound to "make sure things are good and quiet"... I'm not too sure how necessary this ultrasound really is though. I feel like everything is just a money grab. Really... $200 bucks for you to look at my ovaries and be like "yupp everything looks great". Whatever

Also this morning I start Clomid 50mg for the next 4 days. I have heard Clomid can make you pretty crazy! With IVF the progesterone and estrogen I was taking made me an emotional irrational mess! Pray for Ang.. she will need it!

That's all for now! Ciao!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Introducing.... AF!! Yes, two days late, but here finally. Never have I ever been so excited to start my period...well maybe like in the 8th grade :) !

Called the MD office this morning to report CD1 , should start Clomid 50mg days 3-7.. that was the original plan, so we will see when they call back.

Nothing else new to report. Trying to lay low and stay as relaxed and stress free as possible!

Going for another accupuncture treatment this morning @ 1000! Pretty excited!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Sweet babies

Our kitties that is! They are just precious, sweet, lovey animals. Love our 4 legged babes!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

One down

Well I went for it and had my first acupuncture today. It went really well. My therapist went through everything and was very detailed about the whole process. There was one needle he put in my right hand that I swear must of hit a nerve or nerve endings, b/c it hurt and made my ring finger and pinky numb! Ouch! Otherwise it was very relaxing and I even fell asleep for part of it! I'm going to go every week and hopefully it will help keep my stress low and my opstimisticism ( made up that word :) ) up! Should start AF on Monday... hurry up!

Saturday, August 28, 2010


So I need your alls feed back on a subject! As the IUI date gets closer the more stressed out/nervous I get. I have read a lot of blogs that talk about accupuncture/massage to help throughout the whole process. What are your thoughts?? I of course wouldn't turn down a massage, but do they really help?!

Let me know your experiences and stories!

Monday, August 23, 2010


I know the break was probably a good thing for both of us, but now the wait on everything is killing me! I have never wanted to start my period this bad! Haha.

It should be coming along in two weeks...which seems forever.

My good friend Lindsey came in town and we had a good time! It helped to keep my mind off of baby stuff. However we went to the mall and I swear everyone was prego, had a new baby, or had a child. AND I swear the number of maternity stores and baby stores has multipled since I was there last... or it's just me obsessing.

Ang's Auntie is coming for a visit this next week for 10 days! It is always nice to have visitors, it makes things feel more like home. ( Ang and I just moved to Arizona last July after living in Kansas our whole lives)

Think that's about it on the home front.. sorry I'm so boring!!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Just thinkin

My wife is so cute... I was sleeping and woke up to her putting her hand on my chest and moving it to different parts of my chest .... When I woke up I asked her what she was doing and she said making sure I was still .. so cute! haha

Love you Baby!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Will it ever stop period that is. Holy cow! This "withdraw" period is so much worse than any period I have had. It has been soo heavy now for 4 days... heavy heavy... clots..bad cramps, ibprofen every 4 hours... I'm thankful I guess its here because that means next period we get to try to baby, but man. I hope it is over soon!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Trying to be optimistic

So this past Friday we had a "follow up" with our MD. It was tough seeing everyone and hearing every one's apologies. It is hard to know what to say to someone in this situation, but we could tell everyone had been rooting for us.

I felt a lot more on the positive side after we talked to him though. Mostly b/c we now have another plan in place. (I'm more calm and feel better when I have details laid out in front of me and can plan more)

The MD said I should be having a withdraw period within the next two weeks (It will be a week since no hormones on Wed, and still no spotting or anything)
Then my cycle day one of next month we can plan for an IUI ! He wants me to take a low dose of clomid as well and explained risks of multiples, but to be quite honest, I think we were both prepared/secretly wanted twins, so the risk of multiples wasn't an issue and if the clomid will increase the chances overall of getting us prego, I'm all for it.

So that's the latest and greatest... I guess I will try to enjoy this month off from everything. I have a good friend from college coming to visit me next Wednesday so I'm very much looking forward to that, and to have a ice cold beer!!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Ya, you could probably guess by the title... Beta was negative...not even a low number.. no number. I've been crying all day. I feel so empty. So sad.

We don't have enough money to do invitro again... which makes me even more sad b.c I wanted to have Ang's babies.

The next step is wait for my period, and start preparing for artifical insemination on me, with my eggs.

I can't believe this is happening, I felt so good about it. I'm 100% crushed

I'm lucky I have Ang though, we are sad but we have eachother

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Freak out

Well tomorrow is the BIG day... and I'm FREAKING THE F*CK out!! I can't stop thinking about it and it's consuming my mind. I'm nervous, excited, scared...

Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me! I will post as soon as I find out anything

Monday, August 2, 2010

Here they are

Here is a picture of our beautiful embies!! I hope they are deciding they want to stay for the long run in my warm comfy uterus!

The top one made it to blast and the bottom is right behind!

Sunday, August 1, 2010


Well today will make it 6 days since our transfer this past Monday. Here's how I'm feeling

Yesterday I felt like my bbs were a little sore but couldn't really tell.... this morning...holy sore! I know progesterone can cause this but I have been on that now since the date of the retrieval with no sore bbs... and now they are all the sudden

I have had two BAD cause of acid reflux/indigestion....both in the A.M. .... when I haven't had anything to eat that I think would cause it... and plus... I never get acid reflux

I have had a constant headache the past three days... Tylenol is the only thing the MD said I could take and it doesn't seem to do the trick

I haven't had any nausea but yesterday nothing sounded good to eat at all. I felt hungry but nothing tasted good and I wasn't in the mood for anything

I know I shouldn't have but couldn't help myself and took a HPT Friday morning... of course negative. I just some how thought it could be positive and then was disappointed the rest of the day.

I feel like I want to take another one...but should I just wait until Wednesday when our Beta is?!?! It's sooo hard... !

Thursday, July 29, 2010


We got the official news that they weren't able to freeze any of our embryos... I'm a little disappointed, but feel so positive about the two embies that were put in me!

So today will be post transfer day #3.
Still don't feel too different. I could of sworn I had some indigestion yesterday (which I never have) and I feel a little crampy and my back is a little sore.

I also of course am over analyzing any possible symptom I may or may not be having!

I will post a pic of our embryos next post!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Wait game

Well yesterday was another big day. We had two embryos transferred. One was a blast and the other wasn't very far behind from the leader.

Kind of disappointing news was the embryologist let us know that four weren't going to make it to freeze and their was only one possible one that might, and we would find out today.

Pretty much the MD said the ones he transferred are our big team players.

The transfer went really well! No pain, wasn't uncomfortable, and we had lots of staff in and out wishing us their luck. It was very nice to see familiar faces rooting us on.

Today, I don't feel any different.... how long after your transfers did you feel any symptoms??

A week from today I go have my blood drawn for a preggo test!! So here comes more waiting!!

Should I cheat and take a home test?!


Saturday, July 24, 2010


Well, we got good news on Thursday. Out of the 6 eggs that were retrieved... ALL 6 FERTILIZED!!!!

We about shit our pants when our NP called to give us the news!!

So Monday is the big day for the transfer...! I hope this streak of luck continues!

Sidenote: And maybe a little TMI - These Progesterone supp. that I have to do three times a day are grossing me out! I'm a nurse and can handle about anything but I would rather give myself injections everyday than deal with this nasty curdy cottage cheese crap leaking from me 24/7!! Ok got that out of the way... o the things we will do for a baby!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Big Day

Well yesterday was a BIG day in this forever long process/journey! We had our egg retrieval day!
We were both so nervous, but everything went sooo well! I think the worst part was they had to stick Ang twice to get an IV in. The procedure itself only took 30 minutes!
Good news is we got 6 EGGS! Our MD said they were all pretty mature too and that he had good hopes about them fertilizing.
So now today it's another wait game. They said they would call us this afternoon to let us know how many fertilized and if our transfer day would be Saturday or Monday.

Wish us luck

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Well tomorrow morning we get to see if this Follistem is doing it's job! I hope that her ovaries are going to corporate and give us some more follicles! Ang's belly hurts from the shots, I have bruises on my from the Lupron... sure wish it didn't have to be so complicated! I'm ready for the big retrieval day, which should be next Tues or Wed.

Nervous, excited, anxious, happy... so many emotions in body me right now.

Monday, July 12, 2010


Hormones hormones hormones

Our household is a mess of emotions! Our poor kitties

How does everyone deal with two women both on different hormones and needing a lot of attention!!

We will get through it.. haha.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

pre-op eval

On Tuesday Ang had a ultrasound to get a baseline on how many follicles were in each ovary and to get her blood work drawn.

Left ovary- 3
Right ovary-5

We start Follistem on Sat and I'm hoping she responds well! Come on ovaries!!

Here is a pic of Ang @ our ultrasound.

Where to begin...

Ang and I have been together for three years and got married this past Jan in Canada.

We are living in one of the most republican states ever... Arizona, and we feel like the only lesbians here! We just moved here a year ago from Kansas ( which you think would be worse for gay couples, but totally better than Arizona) We are both nurses and moved here for work!

We have great supporting families and friends and have met a lot of amazing people here in Arizona, but don't have any close lesbian/gay couples that we are friends with that can relate to what is going on in our lives

I found so many great blogs through and am SO happy b/c I can relate to EVERYONE! I feel like I found my group and support system!

Ang and I started the baby process this past January...and it has not been as plesant as we would've liked. It was almost impossible to get an appt. There was only ONE office in the entire Phoenix area that would accept our insurance, so we had to make it work.

We had call three different times before they would make us an appt and then tried to cancel the appt we had two different times. The receptionist was rude, the nurse was rude, and every other patient (men and female couples) stared at us the whole time we were in the waiting room.

Luckily we LOVE our MD and he has made the process go so much better. Also the NP who has been working with us is sweet and we both now feel much better and less akward when we go to our appts.

We are doing IVF. We are using Ang's eggs, paring them with a doner sperm, and implanting them in me

I've been on Lupron and Estrogen and Ang starts her FSH on Sat!!

That's the shortest re-cap of the the 7 months...!